i asked my friends through a social media chain that was their first impression when first meeting me and they all said that i looked weird, acted strange and similar stuff. I have always known that i am kind of a weird person and i am kind of ok with it now but i wish i knew why i am this way. I almost cried a few days ago while doing an order at some restaurant and it just keeps repeating. i always get too anxious in front of people and i cant even look into people’s eyes comfortably. Even with my family, when they ask me questions i feel pressured and sometimes cant speak. And, i know this may sound weird and cheesy but, i am fascinated by science and medical studies and so even my teachers think that it is weird for my age as i am a 14 years old girl. I did my research and contacted the school medical team about asperger’s syndrome or asd or autism spectrum disorder and, i swear i think i’m on the spectrum even though i haven’t been professionally diagnosed. i haven’t talked it with my parents because when i asked to go see someone before they just ignored me. i really want to know if something’s wrong with me because i have lots of problems when it comes to socializing and it’s slowly eating me. I cant anymore. i just want tobstay at home.