Was that my mistake!

I want to confess something I kept inside me from few years this the biggest secret and unfortunate incident of my life i am 23 now and i was dating a guy when i was 19 this guy was the nicest person I ever had in my life. everything was going good utill this unfortunate day came in my life when cousin called to meet her we went for shopping and after we end up having some beers in between her boyfriend join us it was the noon time .and we planned to be back by 4pm but i was a little high so her boyfriend told her that he will take care of me and drop me back when I’ll feel better( i barely met him 2 three time befor) he took me to him flat instead and i was not in my senses at all (because i was 19 at that time and i newly introduced to alcohol ) he told he is taking to him flat so that i can rest there for some and i was in the situation where i could barely moove he throw me on bed before i could realise anything he pulled my jeans i beg him not to do this but he raped me for an hour that was the worst feeling when you could not help your self but to see yourself getting raped. After when he done he said i am sorry i could not resist my self because i like you and its better i don’t say a word i was in a deep mental troma at the moment u could not believe what was happened to me i left him house immediately i took a cab back i locked myself in a room for few hours then i told my boyfriend about this i was expecting few word of mercy from him but he blamed me for all this after a month he left me since then i never told about this to anyone but it’s big grief of my life which i can not hold too long. i afraid of telling this to my partner to be what if he leave for that

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