I want to apologize, and don’t know how.

You were young, and I was dumb, I couldn’t even kiss you, fear of failure was stronger than my feelings, you left me, with reason.
You didn’t talk to me anymore and avoided me for a long time.
I tried to be your friend, but I just took advantage of your friendship, I was mean and rude, I told you things you weren’t supposed to know and hurt you. You were so kind to me and I couldn’t understand it. You had the right to be rude to me, but you weren’t.
You thought you were ugly, even if I kept telling you how beautiful you were. Ever since I’ve met you.
I fell in love again, and you rejected me, but my fear of failure was overcome. I felt free.
I met another girl, and it worked out much better. You never stopped supporting me, but my girlfriend was jealous of that special connection, maybe with reason, I slowly cut you out of my life. I loved her, married her, and I thought it was more important than your friendship. I still love her and I think she is that special person in my life that you couldn’t be. I know it would have never worked out without your help. You made me grow up and overcome my fear. And I never said “thank you”.
I met you again after many years, I know the pain you have experienced in your life. I tried to reconnect but all I wanted to say is “I’m sorry”, and I didn’t. I had the chance to do it, many times, but I always pulled back.
We live very far away, I don’t know if we will ever meet again. I hope so. I want to apologize for being so mean, making you sad, not supporting you when you were feeling down. Next time we meet, I will go straight to the point and the first words I say will be “I ask you for forgiveness”. Please be there on that day.

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