I still can’t stop lying

I started lying to my girlfriend because I didn’t know how she would react to me going out drinking with my friends. She then found out and how I’d feared she’d react was how she reacted – not because I went out drinking with my friends but because I had lied.

Since then, because my girlfriend now has a bad association with me going out drinking with my friends, I always lie. No matter how many times I try to stop myself going out or lie, I always end up doing it. I justify it to myself by saying “I only went out for a couple of hours” or “I came home early” but I still fail to tell her that I went out at all.

I have been trying to stop for the duration of our relationship but I don’t know why I can’t stop.

I hope this confessions can finally be the start of the end of the lying.

One Reply to “I still can’t stop lying”

  1. I know how you feel. I have lied a lot in my past, for really silly things that I didn’t think my family, or friends, or my ex, would approve of. My ex boyfriend didn’t like my friends so I would lie to him about where I was and who I was with, for example. But I felt really guilty for lying when I sat down one day and reflected on my life. But, if you lie once then people definitely don’t trust you anymore – my mum doesn’t trust me at all anymore because of all the lies I’ve told her. I’ve tried to become a more trustworthy person – being honest about where I’m going or what I’m doing, regardless of the reaction, because at least then I am building up trust and making my relationships stronger. I understand you didn’t know how your girlfriend would react, but if she reacted badly then you would know that perhaps she has an insecurity or she is against drinking, but she should accept that you behave like a normal lad with your mates. I tried to think about how I would feel if I was my mum, and my child lied to me – I would be heartbroken that they didn’t trust me enough, or if my current boyfriend lied to me I would be devastated, so perhaps putting yourself in their shoes might help you on the right path to stop lying. My dad often lied, too, and as a result he doesn’t have many people who trust him now, and I look at that and realise I don’t want to be that way. I hope this helped, I’m really sorry if it didn’t.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *