I was about six and a half years old when my grandpa had finally given in and departed from my family. Being a child who didn’t really understand the concept of death at the time, I had no clue how to deal with the situation, nor did it help the fact that I never met my grandpa before he passed.
As jacked as it sounds, I was pretty unaffected. I was more worried over how to stop my mother was crying, how I could help her, despite not being able to do much regardless. I reassured her as best a six year old could.
I think the part that affected my mother the most was the fact that he didn’t die from age. I don’t exactly remember how it happened, but maggots managed to get inside of him and begun eating him. Eventually they got to the brain. My mother’s lineage lives on a ranch in Mexico while we lived in the US. We couldn’t travel back to see his funeral for another reason I can’t remember. She couldn’t even say goodbye.
Moving to a month in advance, one of my aunts was supposed to come visit us for a day. Despite waiting several hours, she never came (she did the next day though). It was late and I wanted to go to bed. My mother and I share a room together, if she wasn’t sleeping beside me then I’d cry. I had a huge fear of the dark.
We get into bed and I doze off for a bit. I don’t remember what time I woke up around, but when I did this rush of adrenaline hit me. I sat up, and that’s when I noticed there was some figure standing to the right side of my bed. It was shaped like a human by it was also shadow-y. I could make out it’s form: face, arms, shoulders, hair, everything. Under first glance I was so sure it was my aunt who was supposed to come earlier, for whatever reason. I called out her name but it didn’t move. I scooted away from it and that when it finally turned away from me. It fazed through the door of my room.
I got up and turned on my room light. Realizing my mom wasn’t beside me I began to cry. Turned on every light in my room and slowly walked into the living room. I couldn’t see my mom at the time, but she was sleeping on one of the couches.
Ended up crying in our room until she came in. I didn’t explain anything or told her what I saw. There wasn’t any object that could make that illusion in my room. It was a person, I’m so sure of it. There was no way it wasn’t.
Years later, present day, the memory came back to me so suddenly. I’m in my last year of high school and it’s all I can think about. I feel so guilty for not telling my mother about it at all. I want to tell her but I’m afraid she’ll panic, call me insane, or just think I’m trying to make a sick joke even though I know she isn’t like that. I’ve been keeping this to myself for so long it’s starting to affect me mentally. It’s so distracting. I don’t even know why I feel so guilty.
Sometimes I wanna convince myself it was just my eyes playing tricks on me, but I’m so certain it wasn’t. Connecting two and two together, the time of my grandpas death and then that happens to me. It has to be, right? I know what I saw that night wasn’t some illusion. I want to tell her but I’m scared.
Tldr: Grandpa passed away, 6 year old me wakes up to see a moving shadow person next to me that I know for a fact isn’t an object. Never told my mom, now 17 year old me feels extremely paranoid & guilty over it.