Not too long ago, I sat in complete boredom in my room with nothing to do and decided on downloading one of those chat rooms apps to meet and talk with new people. Of course I should’ve figured that a majority of the time, the big reason why people do these chat rooms is because they want to initiate and engage in sex or sexual behaviors, but since there was nothing to do and I was desperate, I decided hell I’ll go for it and see if I can actually get a decent conversation with someone. I went through those first few people and began to talk to them but once I realized what they wanted, I ended the conversation and moved on to someone else. I then finally met someone. Let’s call him Rick for times sake. So Rick and I began talking about everything and anything to our hobbies, interests,favorite foods,etc. Diving deeper into the conversation, I found out that he is not from the country that I live in and that Rick is 27 years old and a music teacher. I was kind of shocked that he was nine years older than me as I was 18 when this happened and still am. I then asked him if he had a problem with me being 18 and younger than him and he said he was cool with it and has no problem. We then chatted some more and exchanged our Snapchat information.
We then started talking on Snapchat about more personal stuff such as our families and our goals in life and the outcomes that we want in the long run. When we first started talking, it started out as a very friendly, platonic way. We exchanged pictures of ourselves and he responded in a polite, respectful way and vice versa. A couple of days later into our late conversations, it then goes to a little bit of flirting with Rick saying things like “you’re pretty” and “come to (his country) and I will buy you drinks and we’ll have a good time”. I didn’t think this was a problem and I actually liked that he was taking an interest in me. It then goes to more intense flirting with a lot of heart eyes, heart emoji’s and that he even wrote a song for me. I will admit, I started getting a little excited because an older man was interested in me and that he thought I was attractive, emotionally and sexually wise. Ultimately, we then start exchanging sexual comments and pictures. It started out with talking about what we like to do and sex toys to then him describing what he wants to do to me. I would then strip down to my bra and underwear and sent him provocative pictures and videos of me doing what he is telling me to do such as taking off my panties and fingering myself and him sending me videos of him jerking off and calling me provocative things and more sexual comments as well as asking me if I have done sexual acts and I haven’t because I am still a virgin and have not been with anybody. Prior to this event starting, I kind of figured that we will eventually lead to doing this and I was eager to do so but as we begin to initiate, I then started getting a little bit uncomfortable and was debating whether or not to block him. During our rendezvous, he even suggested that we either call or video chat so that he can have an easier time explaining what he wants me to do and so he can watch me masturbate. I began to panic and realized that I didn’t want to continue on so I blocked him and I have not seen or have been in contact with him ever since.
After this, I began to realize that he probably of course had no real interest in me and that he only wanted to sext, and me being my naïve young self, I did exactly that. Another thing that I found interesting was that during our conversations when he would describe his job, he told me he taught students between the ages of 8 and 16 years old. I begin to think since I am only two years older than the oldest set of students he teaches, he has probably done this or has had a sexual attraction to his own pupils. I felt really disgusted in myself because even though I am the age of consent, I let this happen and gave in but I needed to get this off my chest because it’s been in my subconscious for a while and I can’t stop thinking negatively about myself.