I do not believe in racism, or any form of prejudice against other human beings. Yet my body will feel shock when I see someone who is a different race then I am, somehow. I am terribly ashamed of my own behavior and I am trying to never act like this again. I am filled with horror at myself over it, I don’t even think that other people pick up on it, but I still feel it the same and it hurts me to feel a way that is not only in complete disagreement with my beliefs and passions but also the fact that my own subconscious behavior is possibly hurting other people because my body apparently cannot rationally function as an adult male. I am trying to not let this continue happening yet my body seems to want to betray me every single time. I am loathing myself for it and I wish only for the betterment of the people around me.