Fantasy

I like my school bus driver. By ‘like’ I mean physically attracted. I know it’s cheap and not appropriate and makes me look like hoe but I can’t help it. Everytime I see him I can’t stop my thoughts of touching him, to feel his body. I’m a shy person and never had been in a relationship. What disturbs me the most is that I don’t understand why this is happening. Is it because of my age (I’m 19) and is it normal? Or is this the person I’m becoming?
Today I talked to him and he smiled at me as we talked and it made me feel good. And I don’t want to stop this feeling because I rarely feel good or happy at anything these days. But again I don’t want to feel like I’m a hoe.

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