Dear Universe, I want 2 men at the same time

I went for a fling. I am officially middle aged & have a happy family, a secure job. This guy was flirting, & I flirted too, & very soon I fell for him. He is harsh & manipulative & I knew this all along. He actually wanted me to Chuck my marriage & child, & I did not do it. He threw me a dare & I tried but later chickened out. Now he is ignoring my attempts, & I know it is time to end this. My confession is, I don’t want it to end. I want it all. At one point, I had once said of my husband, “why to hurt someone”, to which, the guy said, “someone is going to get hurt”, which, to my shock & astonishment, is true. I got into this knowing full well that I cannot offer him any commitment. The fact that he is cold & a player has nothing to do with the fact that I assumed that the end of the fling won’t affect him, only me. So, I have cheated, I have treated a guy like he is made of stone, AND, I want two men, at the SAME TIME 🙁

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