1st time ever hookup regret

21 female. Before this hook up the furthest i went with a guy is making out. Now i did everything minus the real part because i cant lose my virginity or else i’d be ruined. It wasnt good it hurted. Didnt even orgasm(never).The guy is a real player. He only cares that i have the necessary tools. He didnt even text me afterwards. I feel used and ashamed. How could i go this far? I’m too ashamed to tell my best friend. And i just found out he has gf. So i was his side chick . I think he ruined sex for me. It was terrifying idk if i’m gonna try again. I just want to get the old me back.

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