today

so today came and went, at this moment I feel hopeful yet sad. i feel sad that I am not able to express my emotions and I hide behind sarcasm and mean jokes, I have built walls around me and I’m stuck in the tower alone. always alone but never lonely because my angels and demons surround me. i feel sad that my mother doesn’t know how much I love her and maybe she’ll never know because I am unexpressive, I hide behind silence and rude remarks, it is true that love is for the brave and most times I am fearful than brave, a pattern I have taught my mind. to scream at the sight of insects and to hide at the feel of emotions, i always wanted to join spoken word but you see I am afraid to let them see my face, i am afraid to unmask my emotions, scared i got no rhyme no swag and terrified that Id bore them to death, well at least they’ll see my beautiful smile if all i said fell on deaf ears. super grateful that I have found my writing love again.

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