Lil crush

So i have this crush on this guy and im furious because i have liked him for 6 years now. Since elementary all we have been doing is staring at each other for years and never had said anything.. Yeah we would talk for school but it was very small talk and when we did he couldnt even look me in my eyes.. He still cant now and it fudging sucksm i always catch his staring at me but when im close to him he becomes to silent and awkward so i decided to just give up and now i have a boyfriend and im happy hes my first! But i still cant get him out of my head.. I don’t wanna say im in love with him but i think i am. And i feel guilty just thinking about someone else other then my bf. I care for him just not in total awe.

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