I’m in love with my best friend of eight years. I’m only 13, but I know. I’m also in love with my other best friend who gave me a shocking eight page letter telling me everything she hates about me when I thought she liked me this whole time. I’m trying to make new friends and be nice because I feel like I need to reach her standards of a good friend. I’m being a good person in general, but only to impress her to get her back. I feel guilty towards her, my best friend, and myself. The thing is my ex-BFF is still best friend with my twin sister and long time best friend. I can’t handle them talking to her and end up having panic attacks. I have a therapist but haven’t even told her the whole truth yet. I have severe anxiety and depression along with suicidal thoughts. Maybe I should just die, cause I’ll never be enough for either one because they are the best people I know. They are incredible and i messed my friendship up. Just needed a place to confess.