Self image

People always take self portraits of themselves whenever they are hanging out with friends and family. Some people take pleasure in this kind of things but i don’t. The image i have of myself is, let say, not the best. Its always been that way. The way that i compared myself to other people. I havent been able to love myself fully including my face shape, eyebrows, body and even personality. I try to hide my insecurities from other people acting like i dont care. But i do care about it, a lot. I have tried to be better, how to be beautiful and enjoy life at the same time. I hate everything about me. Theres nth to love and i absolutely have no talents. Other people seems to be more beautiful, more pretty and outgoing than me. I have no confidence in life. Right now i dont even post my pictures on social media anymore since am so afraid of the judgement and especially how people will think they r better than me. I have three best-friends whom i dont feel close at all. I dont pour my feeling to those people. And when i do, two of them will say some soothing words that dont mean anything to me and other one will tease and try to bring me down or thats what i think he/she is trying to do. Its so hard to be myself. Being a teenager is not easy, there are a lot of stress to deal with such as schools, friends and family. When i was a kid, no one liked me so i had lied to myself that am not ugly, that i am better than them in any other way possible. In reality, i am not. And its time to accept the reality, i am not good in anything, i am not pretty, i am just a loser who suck at life and who cant even speak properly. I stutter most of the time and whenever i speak, i feel abnormal because a lot of people look at me weirdly and i kinda become quiet. I was not a strong kid, i was so sensitive and cried every time. Theres no strong bone in me but i am always proud of myself that i am able to hide these insecurities away.

This note might be edgy but its hard to deal with all the negativity i have received through the society and the one i have infested in myself. So i couldnt resist not to write this as a weakness i’ve been hiding for so long.

One Reply to “Self image”

  1. I’m so sorry that you feel that way.I was in similar situation few months ago.I thought that I’m ugly,that I’m fat and that I’m not worth living.But suddenly one day something changed.I went for a stroll to local park and suddenly something hit me.I’ve realized that I don’t need to be perfect and most beautiful around. I have realized that this earth created me because I have a purpose.And well it’s not being beautiful and always happy and friendly.I started to work on myself more.I tried lots of sports and hobbies.And I suddenly found out that I love photography and I found friends that I love.I now that It might sound like a “cliché” but everything is just in your head.Try to ban negative thoughts from your life.Just simply don’t let them in.When bad though will come to you mind just try to focus on something different.And you will start to feel better.I wish you good luck and more self love in future.

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