People always take self portraits of themselves whenever they are hanging out with friends and family. Some people take pleasure in this kind of things but i don’t. The image i have of myself is, let say, not the best. Its always been that way. The way that i compared myself to other people. I havent been able to love myself fully including my face shape, eyebrows, body and even personality. I try to hide my insecurities from other people acting like i dont care. But i do care about it, a lot. I have tried to be better, how to be beautiful and enjoy life at the same time. I hate everything about me. Theres nth to love and i absolutely have no talents. Other people seems to be more beautiful, more pretty and outgoing than me. I have no confidence in life. Right now i dont even post my pictures on social media anymore since am so afraid of the judgement and especially how people will think they r better than me. I have three best-friends whom i dont feel close at all. I dont pour my feeling to those people. And when i do, two of them will say some soothing words that dont mean anything to me and other one will tease and try to bring me down or thats what i think he/she is trying to do. Its so hard to be myself. Being a teenager is not easy, there are a lot of stress to deal with such as schools, friends and family. When i was a kid, no one liked me so i had lied to myself that am not ugly, that i am better than them in any other way possible. In reality, i am not. And its time to accept the reality, i am not good in anything, i am not pretty, i am just a loser who suck at life and who cant even speak properly. I stutter most of the time and whenever i speak, i feel abnormal because a lot of people look at me weirdly and i kinda become quiet. I was not a strong kid, i was so sensitive and cried every time. Theres no strong bone in me but i am always proud of myself that i am able to hide these insecurities away.
This note might be edgy but its hard to deal with all the negativity i have received through the society and the one i have infested in myself. So i couldnt resist not to write this as a weakness i’ve been hiding for so long.