Never Met A Girl Like Her

Being straight was my phase. Now I’m a bisexual girl, proudly out to everyone but my family. But then I went into high school. And I fell for… her. She’s beautiful. Deep blue eyes and dark brown hair. But I can never have her because she’s straight and I’m not. She normal and I’m a f**king homo, fag, queer whatever people call me. She has a crush on my friend, who has a crush on the girl I went to primary with. I had a crush on that girl, but as soon as I talked to the one I’m currently in love with, my world just exploded.
And now everything’s gone wrong because of her. It’s not her fault. It’s my stupid f**king feelings and the fact I can’t keep them under control. I’m depressed and I scratch my wrists and cut my legs. I’m a f**king disaster, yet no one wants to talk to me about how I feel. I’m ugly as f**k, and my social anxiety makes everything worse. And lately I’ve just been wanting to kill myself. At home I’m stuck with a homophobic family, but at school I’m stuck beside the girl I love, unable to tell her how I feel, even though it’s 20 f**king 18, there’s homophobic pricks at school, who will not let me forget it. And she’s straight.
So I can never have the person I have loved. And I just can’t get to grips with that.

One Reply to “Never Met A Girl Like Her”

  1. Dear young one, your life is only starting. You will love another, and they will love you back. Sometimes we fall in love with the wrong people, sometimes we fall in love at the wrong time, but you will fall in love with the right person one day. You are not the things people call you, do not believe yourself worthless, because you are worth so much to this world. I was once like you, but I have grown and have learned better ways of dealing with my feelings. So will you. Be patient with yourself, you’re still learning. You will be okay. I may be just some stranger on the internet, but I believe in you. Stay strong.

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