(tw/self harm) i have self harmed for years now and that’s crazy to me. i didn’t think it’s been so long. somehow i have been able to hide it from everyone around me. i’m afraid to tell anyone what i do to myself. i feel like i’m safe about it. i never go to deep or make my wounds look very obvious or unexplainable. but, because of the way i can semi-control the extent of which i hurt myself i feel like what i’m doing isn’t enough. i’ve read stories from so many people and they all say it got to a point where they made a cut too deep or too obvious to hide. i am so much of a coward that i cannot even hurt myself enough. i know that logically that doesn’t make sense and it sounds cliche but it’s true. i’m not going to start going deeper or anything for feeling this way, but it makes me feel different and weird. i don’t know where this is going, all i know is that i’m scared.