I don’t know !

I am very bad at handling and maintaining relationships with people.
I have a small world, very few numbers of people I am really close to. I am completely attached or completely strange, there is no in between for me. When I am attached to someone, and if something goes wrong with them, it literally kills me inside. I can’t bear it anymore. I just need to stay away from people. I just need to learn to live alone. I think too much, overthinking is killing me. I need to stop doing the same mistakes again and again, people are teaching me lessons I am not able to learn.

How to get out of this ? How to be normal like others ?
What’s wrong with me, I don’t want to change. I just wish people understands me and love as I am.

Why can’t anyone like me long term, why I have no one to share my feelings.

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