Confused and Broken

Yesterday I opened up to my mum about the depression that is consuming me. I told her exactly how I felt. I told her that when I woke up, I told myself that all I had to do was get through the day, and then I could fall back asleep, forgetting about everything.
Her response honestly broke me.
“There’s no such thing as depression.”
I was confused and asked her to elaborate.
She said that it was because I never smiled anymore made me not happy, and it was all in my head. Smile! That was her advice.
Yes, I told her. I don’t smile because I am empty, I can’t feel anything, I don’t care about anything, I told her.
“You just need to be more organised,” she said.
Then she ruffled my hair and left.
That shattered me. Is that what she honestly thinks? She doesn’t believe in any mental illnesses. And she was the person that I trust the most. I don’t think I’m able to open up to anything else.
And I’m really scared.
How can I tell her how the scratches on my wrist came into existence?

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