34, single, feeling lost

I am a 34-year-old man, never been in a serious relationship, certainly not one that ever turned physical. I work my butt off at work, but I feel empty.

Never had much luck with women, and my siblings are all married now, two of them with kids. I love being an uncle, but I still yearn to be a husband and a father, but I feel like that path is closed to me now. I feel like I waited too long to start a relationship, and most of the women around me are either attached, or too young for me to relate to in any serious matter.

I work as an admin for a company that does alright, but never really flourishes, and if I’m honest, I don’t see much personal advancement possibilities. I’ve considered leaving, but to be honest, I’m terrified of doing it, to try and find a new position in a new company.

I’m sinking a third of my income into savings to try and get together a deposit for a house of my own, but the way the real estate market is where I am, I feel like I will never get there, that I’m saving for absolutely nothing.

I guess all I’m saying is that I’m sad and a bit depressed. Being single is more or less my fault; I didn’t pursue options when they were in front of me because of family reasons and stresses. Now that I’m better prepared for it, no options seem forthcoming. I am a virgin, and sometimes that depresses me, but on the other hand, I doubt I would have ever been promiscuous and played around, or gone and done it with a working girl.

I don’t have a point here. I don’t know if anybody will ever read this. But I wanted to confess this anyway.

I am lonely, and I am sad. I feel like I’m at a dead-end in my life, and do not know if any progression will ever occur, either personally or professionally. But I do not know if anybody knows the way I feel, because I wear the mask of a happy, content person, a good son, a good brother, a good person. And that of a reasonable worker.

I just wanted to share my pain with people.

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